Doug

Me and My Snooze Alarm
Me and My Snooze Alarm

I had a bit of an epiphany this morning.  I think I’m in an on-again off-again relationship with my snooze alarm.

When the alarm first goes off in the morning, it’s like the first week of a new relationship.  I’m still warm from sleep, the alarm gently wakes me from my slumber.  I look at it and think, “Ah, thanks.  I really glad you’re here for me now.”  Then I take it and move it a little closer.  Kind of like you would on a second or third date.  You get a bit closer at the restaurant.  You are really starting to appreciate your new found friend.

Nine minutes later, here’s the alarm again.  This time it’s not a surprise, but it’s still welcome.  It’s like, “Thanks for that.  I dozed off.  Thanks for checking up on me.  You must really care.”  I might even then take my phone (which is my alarm clock, by the way) and place it on my chest, so that the next time it goes off it will be right there.  At this point, it’s like being in a realationship for a few months.  You’re each getting to know each other better, you’re figuring each other out, seeing patterns, learning habits.  It’s comfortable, nice.

Nine minutes later, the alarm happens again.  This time my greeting isn’t quite as warm.  Got it.  I need to get up.  I know.  Thanks.  We’re past the sixth month point, maybe even going on a year in the relationship.  Some of those “cute” and “quirky” habits are starting to wear thin.  Like when she constatntly has to try a bite of whatever I’m eating, or never finishing a can of soda.  Now, it’s starting to get annoying.

Nine minutes later, alarm.  At this point, we’ve had our first fight.  I get it.  I’m not an idiot.  I know I have to get up.  I know what time I have to be to work.  I know what I need to do to get ready.  Got it!  Ok!  I get it!  Stop yelling at me!

Nine minutes later… At this point, the alarm is no longer my girlfriend… it’s my ex.  I never want to hear from it again, but I knew I would.  I knew that she just couldn’t keep well enough alone.  She just had to call out of the blue to completely ruin a perfectly good day.  I can’t get the alarm far enough away from me.  This isn’t what I signe up for.

And then I get up.  And I realize, yeah, this what I signed up for.  So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?

These are the thoughts that roll through my bean.

 

Sponsored By

Recent Headlines

in Entertainment

REVIEW: ‘Birdman’ could be the best film of 2014

In this image released by Fox Searchlight Pictures, Michael Keaton portrays Riggan in a scene from "Birdman."

You’ve heard the buzz for Michael Keaton's "Birdman." It’s loud and it's merited.

in Sports, Viral Videos

Nike hype video welcomes LeBron back to Cleveland

14-overlay4

The video huddles the whole city as "The King" returns home.

in Entertainment

PHOTOS: 31 adorable pets in Halloween costumes

Bailey Jarrett and her dog Teddy visit a Dallas-area PetSmart store on Oct. 25, 2014, for the company's annual in-store Halloween event. The event took place at all PetSmart locations throughout the U.S., Canada and Puerto Rico.

This Halloween is going to the dogs... and cats, ferrets, and bunnies.

in Music

Queen, Fleetwood Mac won’t be playing Glastonbury

fleetwoodmac

The two veteran rock acts were strongly rumored to have been booked as the big names for the 2015 festival.

in Entertainment

Apple CEO Tim Cook: ‘I’m proud to be gay’

timcook

Cook wrote a column published on Thursday and said he hopes that his declaration can help others.